Let’s Talk About Self-Confidence

A lot of people have this idea that when they lose X amount of pounds or when they figure out how to do their makeup right, or when they get their wardrobe fixed, or when they get this certain job or whatever it is, then they will confident.

A lot of people, if you ask them why they want to lose weight, they will say so they can be more confident.

You guys. Here is the truth: confidence is a decision. It is not a bi-product of something that happens to you or a goal that you reach. It is absolutely a decision that you make every single day.

Lately I’ve had a lot of people say “Wow, Steph! You are so confident! You seem so confident these days!” Do you know why? It’s because I decided to be confident. It has nothing to do with how much I weigh, it has everything to do with I decided to put my value in what I decided to  be. I decided to value myself for who I am. Not because of what I look like or any sort of number or anything that I have attained or achieved, but because I am who I am.

And I %100 deserve to be confident in who I am. And so do you! It has nothing to do with anything except that you decided to be confident.

So don’t buy into the lie that weight loss=confidence or a six pack=confidence or any of those external things, because they are all irrelevant. I bet you know people who have the “perfect body” and are not confident at all!

I work with women and know women who say that if they could just lose however many pounds, then they would be feel amazing. You don’t need to lose weight to feel amazing, you guys! You just need to decide to feel amazing to feel amazing. It has nothing to do with anything other than your decision to do it.

Don’t put it off! Don’t put off feeling confident, just decide to be confident!

I used to be one of those people who was always wondering what other people were thinking of me. I would go to the gym and be in a class and I would think that everyone probably thought I looked weird. Or that I should suck in my stomach. Or I would go to the grocery store and think that everyone was staring at me, judging me.

Guys, I don’t even think those thoughts anymore. And it is so liberating! Because I decided to stop thinking that way. That’s all I did, I just decided to stop. It took practice, but honestly I am confident. I’m so happy now because I value myself as a human being, regardless of what anyone else thinks.

I don’t know and don’t care if people are looking at me, I don’t think about my stomach hanging over my jeans or uncrossing my legs so my thighs don’t squish out – I don’t think like that anymore. And I don’t want you to think that way anymore either! If you are stuck in that trap of self-doubt and self-consciousness, stop it.

Just decide to be confident and just be it! That’s all it takes. It has nothing to do with anything other than you deciding to do it.

I hope you do this! It does take practice, it’s not an overnight decision. You have to make this decision for a while until it becomes second nature and confidence really becomes part of who you are. But it feels so amazing and is so liberating to completely disconnect from what society tries to sell you or what they try to tell you that you need to be in order to be valued. Because you’re valued because you’re alive! You are a beautiful, amazing woman regardless of what anyone else thinks.

2 thoughts on “Let’s Talk About Self-Confidence

  • I love this Steph! I’d be interested in how you got rid of those thoughts. Did you just try to replace them with thoughts about your value and worth when the bad/self-conscious thoughts came?

    • Yes–I try to keep reminding myself that those negative thoughts are a lie. It takes practice–I still have to work on it during times when I’m feeling more susceptible! But it’s so worth it.

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